The Fib That Costs More Than It Saves

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but lying to wedding vendors about what kind of event you’re hosting is a terrible idea. And yes, I’ve heard it all.

“Oh, it’s just a family gathering.”

“We’re having a small party.”

“It’s my grandmother’s 80th birthday.”

Look, I understand the logic. Wedding vendors have a reputation for jacking up prices the moment the W-word is mentioned. It feels like a clever hack to save some cash by telling your photographer, venue, or caterer that you’re hosting anything but a wedding.

But here’s why this approach is about as smart as wearing stilettos to hike Cradle Mountain.

You’ll Get What You Pay For (Not What You Need)

Wedding vendors structure their packages, pricing, and preparation based on the specific requirements of a wedding. When you tell them you’re having a casual family BBQ, they’ll plan for exactly that.

Your caterer might not bring enough staff. Your photographer might leave early, missing your first dance. Your venue might not have the proper setup for a ceremony. And then when 120 people show up instead of the “small family gathering” of 30 you mentioned, chaos ensues.

Trust Dies at the Altar

Here’s what typically happens: you book the venue for your “birthday party” and everything seems great until the manager spots a wedding dress being carried in, or notices the ceremony setup. Suddenly, you’re facing a choice between a very awkward conversation or potentially being asked to leave.

The relationship with your vendor is built on trust, and starting that relationship with a lie is like starting your marriage by hiding a secret bank account. Not the best foundation.

Wedding Expertise Matters

I’ve conducted ceremonies in 30-degree heat, during unexpected downpours, and once during what I’m pretty sure was a minor earthquake in New Zealand. Wedding professionals know how to handle these situations because we’ve seen it all.

When you book a “regular” event, you miss out on the specialised expertise that wedding vendors bring. Your “party” DJ might not know how to time the perfect entrance music. Your “event” photographer might not anticipate capturing those tiny, precious moments that make wedding photos special.

The Reality of Pricing

Yes, sometimes there is a “wedding tax.” But more often than not, the higher prices reflect the higher stakes and increased work that weddings require. My preparation for a wedding ceremony is vastly different from what I’d do for hosting a birthday party.

Wedding vendors aren’t out to scam you; they’re pricing based on experience, demand, stress levels, preparation time, and the gravity of the occasion. A wedding isn’t just another event – it’s one of the most important days of your life, and we treat it accordingly.

There Are Better Ways to Save

If budget is a concern (and when isn’t it?), there are honest approaches that will serve you better:

• Be upfront about your budget constraints
• Consider a weekday wedding when vendors might offer discounts
• Book during off-peak seasons
• Prioritise what matters most to you and allocate your budget accordingly

Most vendors want to work with you. We want your day to be amazing, regardless of your budget. Having an honest conversation about financial limitations is infinitely better than starting with deception.

The Uncomfortable Truth

Here’s the kicker – vendors talk to each other. We share stories. And the tale of the “family gathering” that turned out to be a 150-person wedding with a three-tier cake and five bridesmaids? That story gets around.

A couple in Hobart recently tried this approach with a venue, only to discover their photographer had already booked the same venue for their “wedding” on the same day. Awkward doesn’t begin to cover it.

Marriage is about honesty, trust, and respect. Why not start as you mean to go on?